Middle of the night ramblings.

I just got sent home from work early for possibly having Conjuntivitis (pink eye), so I thought I’d take this opportunity to write a little bit.

I saw some pictures of myself from a party I went to in March tonight. I can’t believe how much I have changed in just over 4 months. Its ridiculous! I truly do look like a whole new person. I don’t think I ever realized what I looked like. I may have said that before, but I just never thought I was as big as I truly was. When I would see pictures of myself at that weight I would literally be shocked that I looked like that. I’d make excuses that it was the lighting, the angle or the camera. No dumbass! Thats just you! If I would have seen myself the way the camera saw me perhaps I wouldn’t have let myself get so out of control.

I saw a friend tonight that I haven’t seen in several weeks and she raved and raved about how great I look and how drastic of a change she notices in the way I look. That made me feel good. Sometimes I get embarassed when I get these kind of compliments because it is in my nature to be modest and minimize the compliment. But what I really want to say is .. “Thanks for noticing, it took a hell of alot of hard work and dedication, alot of self control, and a riduculous number of miles on the elliptical/treadmill/bike and I’m pretty freakin pleased myself!” So I’m saying it here because all I can muster is usually a simple thanks.

My pork tenderloin from yesterday turned out DIVINE! I cooked it all day in the crockpot and it was so moist it was literally falling apart. I love taking my culinary creations to work for my co-workers to try since the large majority of them don’t know how to boil water. I always offer bites of my food to everyone, but please don’t ask me if you can put ketchup on my expensive meats! (Love you Bailey)

On another note, I’ve really been pushing myself with my running lately. I finished the Couch to 5K program a couple of months ago. I’ve been running 3 miles consistantly since then (3-4 times a week). I would eventually love to do something as serious as a half marathon (oh my god, did I really just say that?!). I can’t seem to get to my next goal of running 5 miles though. I’ve done 4 miles twice and even made it to 4.5 miles once, but I just can’t seem to get past that. Part of me also feels like I’m cheating because I’m running on a treadmill instead of outdoors. The treadmill is so convienent for me though. Firstly because I own one and its in my bedroom, and secondly because I usually don’t have time to worry about driving to a track or somewhere to run, and my neighborhood is definitely not suitable. I’m really having a hard time getting over the “it doesn’t really count because my feet aren’t pounding the pavement” way of thinking.

I need to make a list of all the reasons I want to lose weight so that I can refer to it in my weaker moments and when I begin to lose my motivation. Maybe that will be my next blog.

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