Haven’t been around much lately. Had a crazy day on Wednesday and some chest pain that eventually sent me to the hospital. Long story short I ended up finding out that I have “too many gallstones to count”.
I have an appointment on Monday with a General Surgeon to find out where to go from here. I desperately don’t want to have to have surgery, but I don’t want to end up making myself really sick if I don’t have the surgery. I just want to do what’s right, but I don’t know what that is.
I’m really frustrated, angry and a little depressed right now. I’m worried about how much work I will have to miss if I do have surgery. I am a “limited benefits” employee which basically means that I get paid more per hour, but I don’t have paid time off or sick leave. When I don’t work I don’t get paid.
I’m worried that I will have to take a significant amount of time off from running and other exercise and I’m afraid what that will do to me physically and mentally. I think I’m worried that if I get out of the habit of exercising for two weeks or more I won’t ever get back in to it and I’ll end up back where I was at 260 lbs. I truly know, (hopefully!) that I would never let that happen, but it is a concern.
I’m afraid that if I do end up having my gallbladder taken out that I’m going to live my life with chronic diarrhea. I know several friends that say they would have never had the surgery if they knew then what they know now and that scares me.
I just have a lot on my mind right now.
I’ve been the last few days trying to rest and recuperate from my day in the hospital. I’m feeling much better now and went back to work right now. In the meantime I’m trying to get in as many good runs as possible because I feel like my time might be limited.
Will update more after Monday’s appointment.